


Running in circles, chasing our tails

by kingsatanthegay



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Body Swap, Crack, Demons, Halloween, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, body switching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-14 02:16:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16484180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingsatanthegay/pseuds/kingsatanthegay
Summary: the title is based off that line "running in circles, coming up tails" in scientist by coldplay but i tweaked it a bit to better suit the scenario ;))this was inspired by this random stone circle itsnotmysweater and i found while walking my dogs in the forest(unfortunately my dogs are dumb so they didn't warn us like cosmo did)beta-read (for the first time EVER) by my friend (whose user i don't know so I'll just call her) K! BIG THANKSlike 97% of the plot was itsnotmysweater's idea (i'm just here to write, y'all) so creds to her





	Running in circles, chasing our tails

**Author's Note:**

> the title is based off that line "running in circles, coming up tails" in scientist by coldplay but i tweaked it a bit to better suit the scenario ;))
> 
> this was inspired by this random stone circle itsnotmysweater and i found while walking my dogs in the forest  
> (unfortunately my dogs are dumb so they didn't warn us like cosmo did)
> 
> beta-read (for the first time EVER) by my friend (whose user i don't know so I'll just call her) K! BIG THANKS
> 
> like 97% of the plot was itsnotmysweater's idea (i'm just here to write, y'all) so creds to her

Keith is already regretting volunteering his and Shiro’s apartment for his group project. 

It’s a simple assignment for their photo class, but Lance insisted on going overboard with the decorations because  _“it’s an art class, Keith!”_ Which, of course, meant that Lance needed to raid Keith’s art stash and make an absolute disaster of the cupboard and the surrounding area. Keith would even go so far as to say a tornado had gone through the room. The calamity had not stopped there, no. Lance wanted to fingerpaint a border on the poster. The floors are carpet –  _were_  light beige carpet. Keith had made Lance scrub it until it was back to an almost-normal colour. By the time he’s finished, Lance is  _exhausted –_ or at least, that's what his acting makes it seem like. 

“Dude, I swear to god if I never have to do another group project, it’ll be too soon,” Lance says around a yawn, lying on the floor with his arms over his head. 

Pidge gazes down at him, bagged eyes flat. “You know our socials project is due next week.” 

“It’ll be  _too soon_ ,” he repeats, slightly louder this time, uncrossing his legs to splay them out, and if his foot maybe presses against Keith’s thigh, well, he’ll consider that a bonus. But only because he knows it pisses Keith off. 

“Seriously, Lance?! Your feet stink!” Keith grapples with Lance’s foot using both hands while Lance wiggles his toes and pushes back. 

“Like you can talk, pizza-mullet!” 

“Pizza-mullet?" 

“You know, like when your face is greasy... but... mullet...” He tries and fails to stifle another yawn. 

A loud clap from the doorway startles the four of them. “Alright,” Shiro says, “I think you deserve a break. Why don’t you take Cosmo for a walk?” 

“Dibs on walking him!” Hunk shoots up from his spot at the table and goes to get the leash. “Cosmo! You wanna go for a walk? Yeah? C’mon, boy!” 

“If we get coffee first, I’ll go.” Pidge slowly rises to her feet, putting her arms on the small of her back and stretching out her spine. 

Lance shoves his arms through the sleeves of his jacket and yanks open the door. “Yeah, yeah, there’s a Timmies on the way.” 

“Don’t stay out too long! Or go too far!”  

“Sure thing,  _dad_ ,” they chorus. 

When Cosmo is all leashed up, Keith leads the way out of his and Shiro’s apartment and to the dog park. It’s a long walk, considering they live close to city centre and the dog park is on the outskirts of town, but it’s worth the extra activity because Cosmo  _loves_  this park. When they leave the house and turn at the corner instead of going straight, he  _knows_  and he practically bounces all the way there.  

Hunk lets him loose as soon as the gate shuts behind them and he takes off in the direction of the water. He’s a water-dog.  

Lance bemoans his absence. “I brought his tennis ball and everything! What am I supposed to do with it now? Throw it for Keith?” 

Before he can defend himself, Pidge pipes up. “No, Lance,  _Keith_  isn’t the furry of the group.” 

“Coulda had me fooled with those kitty ears in his closet.” 

“ _You’re_ the one that bought those!” 

He scowls but doesn’t refute Keith’s statement.  

After Cosmo had swum and socialized with the other dogs for a while, they decide to head in to the trees at the far side of the park.  

“Ugh, gross, there’s so many bugs… What the fuck did I just touch!” Pidge screams, leaping away from the tree she laid her hand on. 

“Pidge, that’s sap. It’s just tree blood.” 

“You think that makes me feel better?” She pulls her hood up, grumbling into her to-go cup. “How would you like it if you were bleeding and a tree came up and put its hand in your blood?” 

“Well, unlike  _someone_ , I appreciate nature and all it has to offer, and that includes-” 

“Spider!” Keith’s arm shoots out in front of Lance. 

“Why, yes, Keith, that does include- fucking  _spider_!” he screeches, latching on to Keith’s arm and stopping himself just in the nick of time. One step more, and he’d have been spider food. 

The spider, hanging from its little string of web, pauses a moment and then continues on like nothing ever happened, landing delicately on the forest floor and making for the edge of the path. 

“Fuck my life. I almost died.” 

Had he known what was coming, he would’ve saved those words for later. 

As they walk, the forest grows darker, the trees closing overtop of them. Cosmo growls at every rustle in the bushes - but comes easily enough when Hunk tugs on his leash - and this far out of town, Keith can’t rule out the possibility of bears, or even squatches. He can feel his hackles raising, making the hairs on his nape stand on end. He feels eyes on the back of his head, burning through his skull. He resists the urge to turn and snap at whoever’s behind him because Hunk, Pidge, and Lance are all ahead of him. 

Cosmo is growling again, but this time, when Hunk pulls the leash and says, “Come on, Cosmo. Let’s go,” he doesn’t budge. He’s locked on to something just beyond the tree line, ears flat against his skull and canines bared, almost frothing at the mouth with how much slobber is dripping from his lips. 

“Cos,” Keith tries, slowly approaching him, not wanting to startle the dog. “Cos buddy, what is it?” All the while keeping his eyes on the foliage in case there was indeed something there. 

Then, like nothing happened in the first place, Cosmo licks his chops and shuts his mouth, glancing at Hunk before continuing on his walk. They all exchange bemused expressions but ultimately follow Cosmo without checking the bushes. 

Finally they come to the opposite side of the lake and let Cosmo off leash. Pidge refuses to sit on the sand, claiming it’ll “get in her asscrack and she’ll be washing it out for days, no fucking thank you.” The other three shrug and take a seat anyways, watching Cosmo splash around in the water and chase the small fish. 

“Keith!” Lance gasps. “The Halloween party! Are you going? It’s at Nyma’s.” 

Keith screws up his face. “Gross, everyone’ll be there if  _she’s_  hosting.” 

“Aw, come on! You never go to parties. Don’t you wanna have at least  _one_  under your belt before you graduate?” 

“Not particularly. I’d rather actually graduate.” He draws his knees to his chest. 

“Come on, Keith,  _pleeeaaase_? Pretty, pretty please?” 

He’s not looking. He won’t. He won’t do it. Ah, fuck it, he already knows he’ll look. Lance’s puppy dog face is too cute to resist even without seeing. Ah. That is, it’s too  _annoying_  to let go on for any longer than it has to, for everyone’s sake. That’s it. 

“God,  _fine_.” Keith lets loose a huge, body-heaving sigh as he says it, pointedly  _not_  watching Lance’s celebration dance that’s really more him pumping his arms and wiggling his torso a little. Definitely  _not_  worth seeing.  

“I  _knew_  you’d agree! Man, we’re gonna have so much fun...” He goes on to describe the festivities they’ll be partaking in, but Keith’s not listening. He’s too absorbed in the way Lance’s face lit up when he agreed and how animated it is now. If he’d known going to a party was the way to make Lance look this ecstatic, he’d have agreed to go a whole lot sooner. 

Wait. That came out wrong. Oh, whatever. 

Keith catches Pidge smirking at him in the corner of his eye. He flips her the bird before calling Cosmo out of the lake. He knows Lance has been dying to play fetch with him. 

“Cosmo! You want the ball? You want the tennis ball? Go get it, boy!” 

Lance’s throw is impressive; it goes all the way across the beach and into the bushes, landing a few feet into the greenery. Cosmo dashes after it, disappearing inside the forest. Lance waits. And waits. And waits. And - it can’t have gone  _that_  far! He follows after the dog, led by the scores in the sand. “Cosmo?” The dog comes shooting out of the bushes, eyes wide to the whites. “Hey, boy, what’s wrong? What is it?” Lance kneels down to run his palm soothingly down Cosmo’s side. “Go find Keith,” he says, pointing in the other boy’s direction. Cosmo leaves without further prompting. 

Lance heads into the trees. He looks all over for the neon green ball, but it’s nowhere to be found. Whatever gave Cosmo that much of a scare probably took it. But why would a bear want a stanky old tennis ball soaked with dog slobber? He shakes his head, rejoining the others. Bears are in to weird shit. 

Hunk has already clipped Cosmo’s leash back onto his harness by the time Lance returns.  

“Dude, where’ve you been? It’s been like fifteen minutes,” Pidge informs him. …That can’t be right. 

“Uh, so, the tennis ball is gone... I think some freaky bear took it.” 

That gets him furrowed, judging brows. “OK... We’re heading out now, so if you’re coming...” 

They've probably already been out a few hours, and they still had parts of their project to complete. 

Back under the cover of trees, Keith swears it’s darker in here than it was earlier. As they make their way back down the paths, Pidge sips at her coffee - there's no way it’s still even a little bit warm, but that’s a gremlin for you - and hangs back a ways, snapping pictures of the plants she likes. No matter how much she denies it, Keith knows she’s a nature-lover. 

He faces back to where Hunk and Lance are discussing their Halloween costumes. Keith rolls his eyes. Honestly. They were graduating this year and  _still_  dressed up for Halloween? Boys will be boys, he supposes. 

Then there’s a scream from behind him, and he whips around in time to see Pidge’s coffee fly out of her hand.  

“Pidge, what’s wrong?” Hunk is already by her side. 

“What the  _fuck_! Something just  _touched_  me! Like, legit! It just poked me in the fucking neck!” 

“What did?” 

“How would I know! It’s invisible or something!” 

Keith glances down to where Cosmo is lapping up the spilled beverage. Great. Now his dog is going to have the runs. Just what he needed. 

He tunes back in to what Pidge is saying- “I’m  _fine_ , Hunk. I appreciate it but I can walk myself.” 

“Uh, guys...?” Lance’s voice is hesitant, like he’s unsure if he should bring this to their attention right this moment, but: “Which way did we come from?”  

All four of them take in the three paths branching off this one with mounting horror. 

“The - the one on the right?” Hunk wagers. 

“Your right walking  _to_  the lake or  _from_  the lake?” Keith quips. 

Hunk’s shoulders rise and fall. “I was just guessing...” 

Lance jumps in with a  _great_  plan. “Eeny, meeny, miny, moe... The middle one! We came from the middle one!” 

Keith grumbles, reluctant, but they have to choose before it gets dark. “Fine, we’ll check the middle one first, but if we die it’s on you, Lance.” 

Lance puffs out his chest. “We won’t die because I picked the  _right_  path. I mean, the  _correct_  path. Not the one on the right. That was Hunk, and that was the  _wrong_  path.” 

“Fuck, we get it Lance, can we please just  _go_?” 

Down this path is a fence with a big yellow sign on it that reads,  _CAUTION: ACTIVE WORK ZONE. NO TRESPASSING. VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED._  

They decide to stay on their side of the fence. 

Cosmo is starting to get growly again. 

“Lance, you picked the wrong path.” 

“Nuh-uh, he was growling earlier, too.” 

“Yeah, but do you remember seeing a fence?” 

“N-no, but it could connect to another path...” 

“That’s the dumbest fucking thing- Oh hold on. What is that.” Keith walks right up to it and crouches down. “Do y’all think it’s satanic, or...?” 

It’s a stone circle, the diameter of which is about the length of one and a half of Lance’s arms. At what Keith assumes are the cardinal points are lines of four stones. 

https://www.flickr.com/photos/160253256@N03/44746440575/in/dateposted-public/ (pic of the circle - I’ve been trying for the past half-hour to insert the image but it never worked so  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯)

Cosmo is frozen several feet away, glaring at the stones with hackles raised and a snarl on his lips. 

“Could be pagan,” Pidge points out. “Halloween  _is_  in a couple days, after all.” 

“Hm... You could be right.” Keith stands and pulls out his phone for a picture, only he’s too short and can’t squeeze all the sticky-out bits into the frame. And no, he won’t ask Lance for help because then he’d never hear the end of it. 

Turns out the path Lance chose does connect to a path that takes them out of the forest and back to the road. 

“Weird, we were only in there for an hour.” Lance pockets his phone with a shrug. 

But even after they get home and finish their project, and his friends leave, and he’s trying to fall asleep, Keith can’t stop thinking about the stone circle. He wants to go back, even though it’s only been a matter of hours since he was there. But he  _craves_. It makes his palms itch and his back sweaty. 

Needless to say, it takes him a long time to fall asleep that night. 

 

\-- 

 

Keith’s only been here twenty minutes and he already wants to go home. It would be bearable if he could drink, but he drove here and he really would rather avoid coming back tomorrow to collect it. 

“Hey, it’s Keith, right?” A girl sidles up to him. “I’m Melissa.” 

 _Hey, Melissa, I’m gay._  It’s on the tip of his tongue, threatening to slip out, but he holds it in and just... ignores her. Maybe she’ll go away. 

“Heard you aced the PE test. You could be on the sports teams, y’know...” 

He does know. But he will not be even if it kills him. He can’t stand any of the jocks. 

“...y’know, I broke up with my boyfriend a couple weeks ago... been kinda lonely ever since...” 

He can smell the alcohol on her breath from where she’s leaning way too close to him, can see the lipstick smudged across her mouth and wonders how many times she’s said the same thing tonight. 

“You want something to drink? Haven’t seen you with a cup all night.” 

He pulls out his phone, mentally urging her to  _go away, go away, go away_. He opens the photos app and taps on the picture of the stone circle he’d taken the other day. 

“I’ll take that as a no...? Lemme know if you want anything, though, honey...” 

And no. That can’t be right. Not anything she’s saying - he stopped listening a while back - but what his phone is showing him, clear as day. Fuck. He has to show the others. 

He walks away from Melanie or whoever without so much as a word and finds the trio sitting on the living room floor with a deck of UNO cards between them. Hunk is missing his headband and Lance is... naked except for his boxers... 

“Oh my god you guys, I’m so cold...” He wraps his arms around himself. 

“Lance we haven’t even started, put your clothes back on.” Pidge hurls his jacket at him, and finally notices Keith’s presence. “Care to join us for some strip UNO? Lance always loses,” she adds in a stage-whisper behind her hand. 

“I heard that, Pidge, and it is  _blasphemy_!” 

Keith shakes his head, managing to draw his gaze away from where Lance is uncurling to slip on his jacket- 

“What have y’all been drinking?” 

“Toootally age-appropriate drinks, mullet. Like this… Diet Pepsi!” Lance whips out a glass of dark pop from behind himself, taking a swig. He grimaces. “Hoo! That is some strong ru- Diet Pepsi!” 

Keith narrows his eyes, not knowing whether he should be curious or concerned. Anyways. “Look at this picture.” 

He thrusts his phone in Pidge’s face and Hunk leans over to see it. Lance throws himself over their laps.  

“What the fuck...” 

“Dude, did you fuck with this photo?” 

“No, this is the first time I've opened it since that day.” 

Right in the middle of the stone circle is a figure. It’s a little smoky, a little hazy, but defined enough to tell that it’s not just a cloud of dust or no-see-’ums that happened to get in the shot. 

“We have to go back.” 

 

\-- 

 

It’s dark. So dark they’re each armed with a flashlight. But it’s also ten o’clock on Halloween night. 

Finding their way back to the circle is a lot harder than they anticipated, but when they finally get there, it does not disappoint. 

Keith has the sudden urge to enter the circle. Pidge echoes his sentiment by saying, “Bet you two are too chicken to go in.” 

Ah. Now he has a reason. He lifts a foot and is about to break the invisible barrier when- 

“OK but, what if you die? It’ll look like we killed you!” Lance is nervously fidgeting with his zipper, pulling it up and down, up and down. 

“Sure you’re not just too scared to join me?” Keith smirks at him, taunting, because he knows what will get Lance to agree. 

“N-no, who said that? I just don’t wanna get blamed for your ugly mullet corpse!” 

“Well, I’m going in whether you do or not, yellow belly.” Keith will admit: he’s proud of his pun. He watches as Lance crosses his arms over his golden retriever onesie. And he called Keith a furry.  

Name-calling, eh? Quickest way to ruffle Lance’s feathers. But two can play at that game.  

“Bet I’ll get in the circle and you’ll be having second thoughts, scaredy cat!” he shoots back. He was right when he’d called Keith a furry, if those cat ears and little fangs are anything to go by.  

“Would one of you hurry up and get in the damn circle!” Pidge already has the camera open on her phone, ready to catch the pissbabies in action.  

Hunk, on the other hand… 

“Guys… I really don’t think this is a good idea. Remember how Cosmo wouldn’t come near it the other day? Bad vibes, just sayin’…” He wrings his hands, watching as Keith and Lance silently dare each other to go first.  

Keith lifts his foot. Lance mirrors him. Simultaneously, they place their feet on the other side of the stones. Then, they step in completely.  

… 

…… 

“Well that was lame.” But Pidge is taking pictures either way, not wanting to miss out on potential blackmail.  

Keith and Lance are about to step out of the circle when- 

“Hey, uh… Has that writing… always been there?” 

They all turn to where Hunk is pointing. On a large rock next to the circle, a list of some sorts is inscribed with letters that are fading from a glow.  

“Oh that?” Keith shrugs. “Pretty sure I saw that on the way in.” 

“Mm. Me too,” Lance agrees, stepping out of the circle with Keith on his heels.  

Hunk leans over to Pidge and whispers, “We should take a pic just in case.” 

“Don’t worry, Hunk. Already got it covered.” She holds up her phone, which is displaying a clear picture of the rock.  

“Wait, is it… Latin?” Hunk squints, peering closer. “It is! Didn’t you learn Latin?” 

“Out of spite, yes. Dead language, my ass.” Pidge zooms in on the first item on the list. “Let’s see… crinis is… a lock of hair, and album… could be a list, but considering the hair part, I’m thinking it means white. A lock of white hair.” She raises her head to meet Hunk’s equally confused gaze. “Huh. That’s weird. I wonder why someone would write that on a rock in Latin. Anyways, next one-” 

“No way! You’re definitely more of a furry than me!” Keith exclaims, gesturing wildly. “Look, you’ve got cat ears and fangs and- HOLY SHIT!” The last part is a screech, which, coming out of Keith is… disconcerting.  

“What the fuck are you screaming about, La-aaaah! What the fuck!”  

The two stop walking and gape openly at each other. No way. There’s no way this is happening. What the fuck even… Lance had definitely not been drinking Diet Pepsi at the party.  

“Why am I looking at myself?!” Keith shrieks. Then his hands fly to his hair and he groans. “Nooo! I have a  _mullet_!” 

“And cat ears.” Lance smirks, cool as a cucumber. “Fuckin’ furry. Always knew it.” 

Pidge blinks hard. “Wait wait wait, are you telling us that  _you’re_  Keith-” -she points at Lance- “-and  _you’re_  Lance?” She points at Keith.  

“Yeah!” they reply in unison.  

“Then… What was in that circle?”  

“Bad news…” Hunk murmurs. “ _Real_  bad news.” 

Lance’s -  _Keith’s_  - eyes glimmer. “Maybe it’s a new, undiscovered cryptid.” 

“Or  _maybe_  it’s a fucking demon sent to fuck with us and then  _kill us_!” Lance’s hands grip his hair and  _wow_  - that is one soft mullet.  

But Pidge’s mouth is curling into a smirk that neither Lance nor Keith like the implications of. “ _Oh._ This is  _too. Fucking. Good._ ” 

Hunk pulls out his phone, checking the time. He sucks in a sharp breath. “Hey, you guys don’t think this is a, uh… time-sensitive thing, right? I mean, like we don’t have to fix it before midnight? Because right now, it’s almost eleven.” 

 _“Fuck!”_ Keith exclaims, Lance’s voice cracking with unfettered fear.  

“Oh my god, you guys, it totally  _is_!” Lance’s hands twist deeper into his mullet. “What do we do?  _Can_  we do anything? Oh  _god_  I’m gonna have a mullet for _ever_!” 

“Lance, calm down!” Pidge snaps, brandishing her phone. “I know what to do. If you’ll just  _listen_ …” She fixes him with a look his mamá has given him many a time. “Thank you. Now, the demon has left us a list of tasks to complete. The first one is to get a lock of white hair.” 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Keith’s voice startles them. “I  _just_  dyed my hair.” 

“You have… white hair?” Lance asks at the same time Hunk suggests, “We can ask Shiro.” 

Keith shakes his head, which Lance is still stuck on imagining as white. “Shiro doesn’t have any hair  _to_  give.” 

“Let’s just start walking in to town. We’ll probably see someone that fits the bill.” 

 

— 

 

The sheer amount of people milling around in the street astounds Keith. It’s so  _late_ , even if it is Halloween. Shouldn’t they be at home, in bed? That’s where he would be, if he weren’t on this stupid wild goose chase.  

But they did find someone with white hair, so.  

She’s tall, dark-skinned, and has silicone on the tips of her ears to make them appear pointed. Best of all: she’s wearing a white wig.  

“Oh, thank bless. A hot white-haired elf woman.” Lance clasps his hands together and shakes them, face upturned. “I got this. Just you wait.” 

He struts over to the woman - oh god, Keith hates he way he looks  _strutting_  and makes a mental note never to do it - a smirk on his lips and a glint in his eye.  

“Hey there, beautiful. Nice costume.” 

“Um… It’s not-” 

“Gorgeous wig, especially. Oh,  _actually_ , would you mind if I borrowed it for a while? Just till midnight, promise. I’ll even give you my number so you can ask for updates.” 

“I really don’t think-” 

Lance glances over her shoulder where Keith is making a sharp, slicing motion across his neck. He wants Lance to stop? Why? 

Then he holds up – a piece of white hair? Is he kidding? He went and found someone else while- Ugh, Lance doesn’t have the patience for this.  

“I’m sorry, but I’ve gotta bounce.” He winks at the elf. “Unless that number’s still good?” 

At her venomous glare, he squeaks out a “Right, right, OK, see ya!” and speedwalks back over to the others. He wastes no time laying into a certain traitor.  

“What the fuck, Keith! I totally had that!” 

“No, you didn’t. She was on the verge of leaving herself. But thanks for distracting her.” 

The smile he shoots Lance is…  _amazing._ It would be  _absolutely_ _breathtaking_  if it were on Keith’s one face, but he can’t afford to be picky in this situation.  

“Uh, yeah uh, that’s what I’m here for.” 

Pidge and Hunk eye the two before Pidge butts in. “OK, so the next item is ‘a remedy for all suffering.’” 

“Food!” Hunk and Lance shout simultaneously, then high-five each other.  

“My mamá always makes food when we’re sad! It’s the best cure!” 

“Cooking helps calm me down when I’m really riled up.” 

“Sure, but what if your arm is broken? Food can’t help you then.” 

Lance brings a hand up to his chin. “Well what about pain meds? Maybe Advil isn’t the cure for every kind of suffering, but it could be the face of all pain meds.” 

“You know…,” Keith says, eyes narrow. “That  _isn’t_  actually a bad idea…” 

“Hm, yeah… There’s a drugstore around the corner. Let’s check it out.” 

 

— 

 

White hair, check… Suffering remedy, check…  

“Keith, Lance, we’ve got a job for you.” Pidge looks up at them. “You have to go find a TV remote in the woods.” 

“Excuse me?” Lance demands. “You want us to  _what_?” 

Pidge shrugs. “The demon must’ve thrown a tantrum or something and chucked its remote.” 

Keith is shaking his head. “I would’ve bet my life demons had even a  _shred_  of sense… Turns out they’re more like Lance than I thought…” 

“Hey!” 

“Just hurry up!” Pidge makes shooing motions with her hands.  

“It’s 11:45, you really should be quick about this.” Hunk turns back to Pidge after watching Keith and Lance disappear into the gloom. “Let’s see the next step.” 

Pidge is already grimacing. “Fuck me. It’s a word scramble.” 

“So? Those are easy.” 

“Yeah, when they’re in English. This one’s in Latin.” 

“Oh…” Hunk’s shoulders slump. “I don’t know any Latin.” 

“It’s alright, buddy.” Pidge pats his shoulder. “I got this.” 

As they head back towards the woods, she manages to unscramble and translate most of it.  

“OK, so far I have: double - blank - twenty, half, soy, no fat, without - blank - all natural, cacao - blank  frozen, vanilla-” 

“Ohmigod, I could  _so_  go for one of those right now.” 

They both look over to see a blonde girl wearing an oversized sweater, leggings, and uggs.  

“Excuse me?” 

“Sorry, I couldn’t help but see what’s on your phone. That’s my favourite Starbucks order.” 

“Tell me what it is,” Pidge demands, thumbs poised and ready to type.  

“A double ristretto, venti, half-soy, nonfat, decaf, organic chocolate, brownie, iced, vanilla double-shot gingerbread frappuccino, extra hot with foam and whipped cream, upside down, double blended, one sweet'n low, one Nutrasweet, and ice.” She rattles off her order without blinking or stuttering.  

“Holy shit, Hunk. A real-life White Girl,” Pidge whispers, grabbing Hunk’s arm and towing him to Starbucks.  

 

— 

 

“Y’know…”  

 _Fuck._ Keith rolls his head back, wondering - not for the first time - why he had to get stuck with lance.  

“It’s really weird calling you ‘Keith’ - just cause you look like me. But it would also be weird to call you ‘Lance’ because… well, that’s my name.” 

“That’s great. Can we search for this remote now?” 

“We  _are_ , it’s called ‘multitasking,’ mullet - ew, now I’m calling myself ‘mullet.’ What has the world come to!” He throws his arms out to the sides and his head back. 

Keith rolls his eyes. “Whatever,  _L_ _ay-_ _ANN_ _-drow_.” 

That shuts Lance up. “Wh- Dude! That was the grossest thing I’ve ever heard! How dare you butcher the pronunciation of my beautiful name -  _with my own_ _smooth, irresistible_ _voice!_ ” 

His angry words are cancelled out by his laughter as he says them.  

“It takes two to tango,  _Uh-_ _KEE_ _-rah_.” 

Keith shudders. He hasn’t heard his name pronounced that badly since the first grade.  

“And tango we will.” 

“Wait, what-” 

Keith is swept off his feet -  _literally_  - as Lance tugs him flush against his own body by the waist.  

“Ugh,  _Lance_ , are you taking things too seriously again?” 

They both snap to attention at Hunk’s voice.  

“Really? You two couldn’t even do  _one_  task alone without getting  _distracted_?” Pidge holds up the remote and a Starbucks drink. “We had to do your part,  _you’re welcome_ , now let’s get back to that damned circle.” 

 

— 

 

They find the circle with two minutes to spare. Pidge shoves them unceremoniously across its border, offerings in hand.  

“Uh- should I say something?” Keith whispers.  

Lance nods. He really wants to hear this.   

Keith clears his throat. “Uh, demon! I mean- DEMON! WE SUMMON THEE!” 

Sure enough, purple smoke hisses out of the ground and envelopes them, two glowing yellow eyes staring out at them.  

“Who dares disturb my rest?” it demands in a surprisingly normal voice.  

Keith and Lance glance at each other.  

“You switched our bodies so we uh, got all the stuff on your list. Will you put us back?” 

They hold up the items in question.  

“Wait, you- you actually went out and got all that stuff? For  _me_?” 

“Yeah. Weren’t we supposed to? That’s why the writing was on that rock. It only showed up after we switched.” Keith’s whole face pinches as he speaks.  

“Ohhhh. I can see where that might confuse you. That was my grocery list, but thanks to you guys, I’m saved a trip. Lucky me!” 

All four objects disappear, presumably transported to Hell. 

“So can you put us back now?” 

“Mm… Would you possibly be able to do me one more tiny, little favour?” 

“No!” they chorus.  

“OK, OK, that’s fine. You’ve done enough. Alright, here we go. Gimme a sec, just gotta…” 

Lance checks the time on his phone.  _Midnight._ Fuck. Is it too late now? 

“Ah, there we go. You should be all back to normal now. See ya.” 

The smoke dissipates and when Keith blinks, his eyes don’t open back up. 

 

— 

 

Keith wakes to the sound of frantic pacing.  

“Oh god, my mom is gonna  _kill_  me! She explicitly said,  _no parties, Nyma. You’re only allowed one friend over._  And what did I do?! Threw the biggest party with the most guests! I’m  _dead_!” 

What… the fuck? He’s still at Nyma’s? 

He pushes himself onto his elbows, taking in the stirring forms of his friends on the floor littered with red Solo cups and empty chip bags. They look like they’re having the same thoughts he is.  

But when he asks if they remember what happened last night, all he gets is: 

“Yeah… we were at the party the whole time… Right?” 

Keith is beginning to doubt the whole thing ever happened. And well, can you blame him? 

But he notes the scratches on his arm, the tears in Lance’s costume, and Pidge’s now-crooked glasses. That was the strangest, because her glasses are the only thing Pidge ever takes care of.  

As he gives Hunk a once-over, he notices that nothing seems to be missing or off. Huh. Maybe even demons can’t hurt Hunk.  

After half-heartedly throwing a few cups into a garbage bag, they decide to head and let Nyma calm down on her own.  

“Man, I am  _exhausted._ ” Lance stretches out his arms and forces a yawn to prove his point. “Funny how just drinking can make you so tired.” 

He side-eyes Keith, who merely nods. He doesn’t know if Lance knows what he knows, or if he just doesn’t want to be the one to bring it up, but Keith knows for sure that he himself won’t say anything. He’s already been labelled and made fun of for being a conspiracy-theorist-cryptid-fucker, he doesn’t need to have demon hunter added to the list. 


End file.
